The romance scam: How to help protect your savings from sweet talkers
Online dating fraud is on the rise, and it can be difficult to detect before it’s too late. Here’s how it has evolved, and what you can do to stay safe.
Updated 
5 min. read
Online dating sites and social media bring thousands of people together in a matter of seconds – it’s natural to think your perfect match is right around the virtual corner. But people can prey on that optimism, hiding behind a made-up profile to attract attention. Enter the romance scam: a person poses as an admirer, gains your trust and manipulates your emotions to get at your money (or have you commit fraud on their behalf).
It may sound like an obvious ruse, but the romance scam is a sophisticated and successful type of fraud. These online dating scams have become big business for global criminal organizations. How big? Well, romance scams cost Canadians more than $50.3 million in 2023.
What are online dating scams all about?
As long as you don’t meet face to face, the scammer can get away with their crime for longer. After all, it’s easier to keep up a phony persona when you don’t have to act it out in person.
In a romance scam, the admirer is usually in another city, country – they might claim to be working overseas, with the military or on an oil rig. It won’t take long for them to profess their love and they’ll nurture your newfound romance over weeks or months. In some cases, romance scams can go on for years.
So, how do you spot a romance scam on a dating site or social media? There are a few early clues to watch for as your relationship develops:
- They’re quick to declare their love
- They make excuses not to meet in person
- They claim they can’t afford to travel to meet you (and request that you cover the costs)
- They ask for money to help with a family emergency or another "urgent" situation
- They ask for your bank information to make a transfer (or for any other reason)
- Their social meida or dating profile is "too good to be true"
- They claim to be a celebrity
The requests can take different forms, but there’s usually an emotional element – the scammer is using your sympathy, compassion or affection to get you to take some sort of action.
How to outsmart a romance scammer
The number-one rule to avoid falling victim to a romance scam? Don’t send money under any circumstance. Always go with your head over your heart when it comes to financial, personal or other sensitive requests.
Here are some other good tips to keep at the top of your mind:
- Do not accept friend/connection requests or messages from strangers on social media (including anyone claiming to be a celebrity).
- Think twice before quickly moving the conversation from social media to a private channel, like email or text.
- Avoid sharing personal information, like your birthdate, address or financial details with anyone you meet online.
- Don’t send intimate pictures or videos – these could be used to blackmail you.
- If a connection will not meet in person, request a video chat. If they refuse, be on high alert and do not send any funds to the connection.
- Refuse to cash cheques or accept e-Transfers.
Be wary of money requests – whether they’re asking you to send or receive it. If a scammer asks to send a cheque, an e-Transfer, or goods (like electronics) for you to move elsewhere – don’t do it! This is a money laundering technique and a criminal offense. If you help carry out the request, you could wind up in legal trouble.
Access article on social media tips is more common than ever. Criminals will often use a stock photo or an online image for their invested persona, so when you meet someone new, search their image online to see if it belongs to someone else. Also, keep an eye out for inconsistencies in their profile and in your conversations – those little mistakes can point to a big lie.
How romance scammers are using AI and machine learning
Scams involving AI-generated fake videos, pictures and voice (also known as deepfakes) are also becoming more common. By using AI tools, fraudsters can create realistic deepfakes that mimic human-like text, speech and/or appearance.
Watch out for signs of abnormal speech patterns (for instance, it may sound like reading), longer-than-usual pauses between words and sentences, or the person’s voice sounding flat and lifeless.
How to react and recover if you fall victim
It never feels good when you discover you’ve been defrauded, but there may still be time for damage control. Here are your next steps:
Contact the police
Gather all the information on the scammer that you can, and provide it to the police and file a report to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre at 1-888-495-8501 or online www.antifraudcentre.ca.
Contact your bank
If you’ve already made a money transfer, try to stop it – you may have time before the funds are officially moved, but you’ll have to act quickly. It is very difficult to reverse withdrawals and completed transfers, so do your best to avoid these transactions in the first place.
If you shared financial information about your credit card or bank account, tell your bank right away. The more information you can provide, the easier it will be to survey the damage and start to resolve the problem. Your online security is a big deal – your bank is there to help you through.
Contact the website
Once you’ve contacted the police and your bank, let the online dating site or social media platform know about the scammer so they can consider removing their profile (and check to see if they have other active profiles).
It’s not unusual for some criminals to impersonate more than one person – this helps them target more potential victims. Any information you can offer could help save others from falling into their trap.
It can be difficult to think logically when your emotions are running high, and sometimes we’re blind to what’s happening before our eyes. If you suspect someone you love is in the middle of a romance scam, speak up: point out the red flags you see, along with the common elements and potential consequences of the scam.
The bottom line
The digital world has a lot to offer, but more cyber risks are popping up all the time. When you spend time online, it pays to stay on top of the latest online scams – there’s a lot on the line, and you never know when that knowledge could come in handy.
